The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of The Lord.

When I think about the tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook Friday morning, I am overwhelmed by the emotions I feel. As I think of precious kindergartners being lined up and shot execution style it breaks my heart. But since I found out about this I have had a very clear picture in my head of what I think those final minutes in the back of that classroom were like. Of course the children were terrified, but I believe there was somehow a sense of peace as well. Because whenever I think about those children I see Jesus sitting with them huddled in the back of the room. We may have tried to keep God out of our schools but the God and savior I know loves all the little children. He says many times through scripture, let the little children come to me. And to enter heaven one must have the faith of a little child. So I believe without a doubt that each of those children though terrified felt Jesus right there along side of them. Why didn't Jesus intervene if He was there? I don't know but I do know that God gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, and peace for despair.   As Christians we are to praise God through all circumstances. Sometimes that is extremely extremely hard. My simple prayer when I can't understand the "why's" is this, "the Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of The Lord."

This morning in my women's bible study during our devotional time, this story was read.

'TWAS 11 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38

when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

when what to their wondering eyes did appear,

but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring

those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

and as if He could read all the questions she had

He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,

"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"

"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

then He and the children stood up without a sound.

"come now my children, let me show you around."

excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran,
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA


Come quickly Jesus, come and heal our land.

How to forgive, How to heal...

After hearing the news of the sandy hook school shooting, my first instinct was to pick my kids up at school just so I could hug them because they are here and I am blessed to be able to hold them tight. I didn't do that I did pray I prayed for the victims families, for the family of Adam Lanza the shooter, and for those who survived. The only way they will be able to heal and move forward in their lives is to forgive Adam Lanza 7x70 times Jesus said. And that forgiveness will only come from the grace of Jesus Christ. I don't believe their is a soul among us who can forgive what he did to 20 small children and 6 adults, and the emotional damage he has left in his wake without the help of Jesus. My prayer is simple, " Lord be with us give us your compassion and grace so healing can begin. Bring peace to those who have lost loved ones, peace to children suffering from anxiety that the place they felt safe no longer is. Please Lord let us feel your arms holding us as you carry us through this unimaginable tragedy as a nation. You work all things to bring glory to you, help us to praise you through the pain. You giveth and you taketh away, blessed be your name. In Jesus holy name, amen."

I'm not a huge Carmen fan at all, I find most of his stuff extremely cheesy...but he hit the nail on the head with this song.

These are the lyrics and link to the song, America Again, by Carmen

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson 

Samuel Adams, First Chief Justice John Jay 

Names synonymous with the spirit of our country 

Founding fathers of the U.S.A. 

Over 200 years ago they shook off the chains of tyranny from Great Britain 

By divine call 

Citing 27 biblical violations they wrote the Declaration of Independence

With liberty and justice for all 

But something happened since Jefferson called the Bible the cornerstone 

For American liberty then put it in our schools as a light 

Or since "Give me liberty, or give me death," Patrick Henry said 

Our country was founded on the Gospel of Jesus Christ 

We eliminated God from the equation of American life 

Thus eliminating the reason this nation first began 

From beyond the grave I hear the voices of our founding fathers plead 

You need God in America again 

Of the 55 men who formed the Constitution

Fifty-two were active members of their church 

Founding fathers like Noah Webster who wrote the first dictionary 

Could literally quote the Bible chapter and verse 

James Madison said, "We've staked our future on our ability to follow 

The Ten Commandments with all our heart"

These men believed you couldn't even call yourself an American 

If you subvert the Word of God 

In his farewell address, Washington said, "You can't have national morality apart from religious principle," and it's true 

'Cause right now we have nearly 150,000 kids carrying guns 

To these war zones we call public schools 

In the '40's and '50's student problems were chewing gum and talking 

In the '90's, rape and murder are the trend 

The only way this nation can even hope to last this decade 

Is put God in America again 

The only hope for America is Jesus 

The only hope for our country is Him 

If we repent of our ways stand firm and say

We need God in America again 

Abe Lincoln said, "The philosophy of the classroom in one generation 

Will be the philosophy of government of the next" 

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]

So when you eliminate the Word of God from the classroom and politics

You eliminate the nation that Word protects

America is now number one in teen pregnancy and violent crime 

Number one in illiteracy, drug use, and divorce 

Everyday a new holocaust of 5,000 unborn die 

While pornography floods our streets like open sewers 

America's dead and dying hand is on the threshold of the Church 

While the spirit of Sodom and Gomorrah vex us all 

When it gets to the point where people would rather 

Come out of the closet than clean it 

It's a sign that the judgment of God is gonna fall 

If there's ever been a time to rise up Church, it's now 

And as the blood bought saints of the living God proclaim 

That it's time to sound the alarm from the Church house to the White House 

And say, "We want God in America again" 

I believe it's time for America to stand up and proclaim 

That one nation under God is our demand 

And send this evil lifestyle back to Satan where it came from 

And let the Word of God revive our dying land 

For Jesus Christ is coming back again in all His glory 

And every eye shall see Him on that day 

That's why a new anointing of God's power's coming on us 

To boldly tell the world you must be saved 

Because astrology won't save you, your horoscope won't save you 

The Bible says these things are all a farce 

If you're born again, you don't need to look to the stars for your answers 

'Cause you can look to the very One who made those stars 

History tells us time and time again 

To live like there's no God makes you a fool 

If you want to see kids live right 

Stop handing out condoms and start handing out the Word of God in schools 

The only hope for America is Jesus 

The only hope for our country is Him 

If we repent of our ways 

Stand firm and say 

We need God in America again 

We need God in America 

God in America 

God in America again

these lyrics are submitted by Anonymous

What I Learned In My Twenties

As I sit here closing one chapter of my life and getting ready to start another, I've had some time to reflect over what I have learned and experienced in the last decade. I got married at age 20, and then had to learn that everyday of your marriage isn't like your wedding day it takes hard work, love, determination, prayer, tears, and lots of patience to sustain a great marriage. I learned how to love unconditionally in October of 2003 when I found out SURPRISE we were expecting our first child, though not planed by us but planned by God the best surprise of my life. I learned that I was an excellent parent before I had children...my children were never going to throw tantrums, because I would always lovingly get down to eye level and explain the whys and how comes to prevent frustration...then my child turned 3 and I found myself at times in public completely mortified at my tantruming toddler who didn't have any interest in an explanation, he just wanted to do things his way! ( now into my second round of toddler tantrums I don't find myself mortified of my child's behavior. Funny how much you learn to relax the second time around!) I learned that an " I wuv you" can turn an awful day into a wonderful one. I learned God's timing is not my timing through many frustrating lessons. The first was trying to get pregnant with our second child...when you get pregnant on birth control you assume when you are actually trying it would happen right away. It took seven months of my impatience trying to make it my way, calendars, ovulation testing kits...it wasn't until I was in tears praying one night and cried out to God that I couldn't take this disappointment month after month anymore all I wanted was a baby right now. That night I surrendered all my plans to God and said if it is your will to bless us with another child we will praise you. If we are only meant to have been blessed with one child, we will praise you. I got pregnant the following month, and started to learn a new lesson. A strong-willed child may behave that way even in the womb. I had a difficult pregnancy. Most was spent on bed rest due to degenerative disk disease, and the towards the end preeclampsia. I would have to go in weekly for non-stress tests to monitor Ryan's heart rate and for contractions. Not once was Ryan agreeable to this every time he would hide so they couldn't find his heart beat and would have to do ultrasounds to find him. I should have realized then what I was getting into with this kid! Ryan was born 5.5 weeks early he wasn't breathing when he was born and they had to bag him to get him breathing and rush him to NICU, thankfully he started breathing and I was able to hear him cry before he left my room. I have never in my life known fear like that and pray I never have to experience it again. Within 24 hours he was off the nasal cannula and four days later was able to come home. I've dealt with anxiety and some depression though manageable most of my life. When Ryan was one I was diagnosed bi-polar I have never felt so out of control before. But once again, my God is mighty to save and he saw us through a very scary and dark time of hospitalizations, not being able to see my kids, and trying to find the correct medications. God put in our path amazing physicians who helped me crawl out of the despair and find the light again. In my twenties I sadly had to say goodbye to my grandfather. It was hard to say goodbye, but I feel so blessed that he got to spend so much time with his great-grandsons and that they both have memories of him and talk about him regularly it just warms my heart that they remember him, love him, and talk about seeing him again in heaven. As hard as it was to say goodbye, it was wonderful to say hello to new family members. When I married my husband, I inherited another set of parents, two sets of grandparents, a brother and a sister. About two years ago I gained two more sisters when my brother married his wife and my brother-in-law married his wife. I found out in my twenties, that I will become an aunt for the first time in my thirties. My brother and sister-in-law are expecting my first niece or nephew this spring and I couldn't be more excited.

The final year of my twenties has by far been the most difficult and the most rewarding. I took responsibility for my life to make it better. I started seeing a christian therapist to help me work through my anxiety, depression, and other mental emotional issues. After weekly and sometimes twice weekly sessions we have now decided to make the visits monthly, and continue to taper off from there. I lost 100lbs this year and am on my way to being much healthier, I feel great and I love being able to be more active! My big goal was to be able to run a 5k before I turned 30 but my back started causing a lot of pain so after a third round of radio frequency ablation on my SI joints and an MRI to determine the cause of my thoracic pain we found out it was just muscular and nothing some hard work and physical therapy couldn't fix. So I am in my second week of PT and already have 50% more mobility than I did when I started two weeks ago. In the last month I really feel like I'm pulling out of a haze I've been living under and rediscovering who I am, and I couldn't be happier. The biggest lesson I learned in my twenties is to put my trust and faith in God alone. I can't handle everything life throws at me on my own but God can and He will if I am willing to step aside and let Him. The other lesson God has taught me this year is that His ways are not my ways and His timing is not my timing. And life goes much more smoothly when I am willing to stop fighting to have things my way and let God be in control.

So as I look ahead to the next chapter of my life, it is not with fear of getting older, but with excitement to see what God has in store for me. I'm excited to be starting this new chapter having a new outlook on life, a closer relationship with God,  being healthy physically and mentally, a deeper love for my husband, and the pure joy of watching my children grow.

And besides 30 is the new 20;)